A Successful First Day In Flight Attendant School

It’s been a long day and I’m finally in my hotel room about to go to sleep. I feel like I’m literally on top of the world and am realizing a dream I’ve had of becoming a flight attendant.

Today I completed day one of my 21 day course. I cannot even explain the feeling of gratitude and humility I’m feeling. It is an honor to be a flight attendant. Out of the hundreds of thousands of applicants each year less than 4% will actually be chosen.

Being a Flight Attendant is much more than serving peanuts and soda. We are the first responders if a crisis arises. We are the firefighter, emt, nurse, doctor and counselor rolled into one well put together beautiful body.

When an individual graduates Flight Attendant school they have proven they can provide excellent customer service to the most difficult of passengers and handle intense pressure if,God forbids, an emergency situation occurs.

My goal is to remain focused and strive for 100% grades on all of my written and practical tests. I am not going home without my wings. This is my declaration!!

Office Sex with Dr. Wonderful

Last weekend Dr. Wonderful was busy so we did not see each other. Just as well because I’ve been trying to emotionally withdraw from him and beginning to wonder if he’s doing the same.

Monday he calls me at the end of the day the way he normally does and we have a nice conversation. He explained that from Wednesday on his days are going to be very long so our only opportunity to see each other would be Tuesday. “Can you come to my office?” he asked. “Sure” I reply. My inner-demon refuses to disconnect. Shit.

It’s Tuesday morning and I text Dr. Wonderful that I’m looking forward to seeing him. “What time should I plan on coming by?” I ask. “The girls should be gone around 6:30-7 so maybe around 7:15.” “Okay” I answered back. “Looking forward to it.”

At around 4:30 I begin making myself up to look pretty. I pick out a black wraparound dress to make it easy for both of us to remove. For a change I put my hair up into a conservative bun and accessorize with pearl stud earrings. I looked very elegant. Since I was going to his office I wanted to be seen like a classy lady and not a skank whore. Even my perfume was conservative; Christian Dior’s JaDore.

All day I’ve been anxious knowing I was going to see him even though I’ve been unsure of my feelings for him lately. Are we trying to make something work even though we know it’s going to end? Will it be ending sooner rather than later?

When I arrived at his office I could see that Dr. Wonderful was anxious as well. He was pointing to the cameras reminding me to stay professional until we reached his office. There are cameras all over the fucking place.

When we finally reached his office he grabbed me; kissing me so hard. Almost too hard. I could tell he was still nervous. I pushed away from him so I could look at him. “Hey” I said lightly. “Let me look at you. I really missed you.”

We separated and I took off my coat. He explained how nervous he had been all day knowing I was coming. He asked me if I thought about him. I told him of course. I could tell from his seemingly sporadic movements that he really was nervous.

Shyly I asked if he wanted to go somewhere and then come back to his office. He said he would but his family is expecting him home by 8:00. I must say I’m a very understanding girlfriend because I totally wanted to do my part in making sure he does right by his family; even if I am banging him on the side.

It’s almost 7:30 so I thought “let’s get to it.”

We both remove our clothes down to our underwear. I’m feeling really awkward because usually we have time to let loose and play with each other. This feels almost mechanical. I’m not getting wet at all. Dr. Wonderful asks me if I want to do it on his desk or on the couch. Now I feel like a hired hooker and I tell him this.

“Aww come here LB. Let me hold you.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me for a while. Now I’m starting to get wet. I kiss him slowly than start to move down his torso. When I get to his briefs I slide them down until he is fully exposed to me. Gently I take his cock into my mouth feeling him getting harder and harder. I can hear him gasp, “Oh my goodness” so I know he’s enjoying himself and I am pleasing him.

After a little while Dr. Wonderful pulls me up to him and removes my bra and panties. He lubricates his fingers with his mouth and rubs my pussy until I’m extremely wet. Still not deciding on where it’s going down we sort of stumbled over to his desk.

Dr. Wonderful lifted me up onto the desk and spread my legs wide. I could feel two of his fingers slide into me. I wanted to feel him close to me and the height of the desk was becoming a barrier.

I jumped off and moved over to the couch. Dr. Wonderful turned me over so he could enter me from behind. Although he felt good inside of me I still wanted to feel his whole body wrapped around me. I just wanted closeness.

Finally he pulled out and I turned over. He got on top of me and I wrapped my legs around him. He lifted up a little and entered me. Now I’m feeling good and secure. He pulled my legs over his shoulders so he could have better access and I was in heaven.

We made love for a long time. He would pull out and ask if I wanted to go again. This happened several times. We just kept going. I was not even close to an orgasm. I told him I could go all day. Both of us realized he had to go soon so he came. He had a lot of cum.

Hurriedly, we both put our clothes back on and he went to the bathroom to groom himself. While he was in the bathroom his phone rang. Not wanting to be a nosy girlfriend I resisted looking at his caller id. I’m very proud of myself because I was really tempted.

When he came back to his office I told him to check his phone because it rang when he was out. I went to the bathroom so he could have privacy in case it was his wife.

I think I should receive a reward for being the most understanding mistress ever. What in the fuck is wrong with me?

I Cleared The Background Check

Before you can actually start training with Friendly Skies Airline you have to pass an in depth, inclusive background check. Since the events of 9/11 the background check dates back to before you were even conceived. I’ve been so concerned about this. I don’t have any DUIs, felonies or misdemeanors but I do have a hospital stay that may show up on my record.

I finally received the email that I’m all cleared and ready to go!! Yipee!!! I’m still not counting my eggs before they hatch because the training is intense. My memory is not as good as it used to be. I’m going to do the best I can and think positive. This is my big break and I don’t want to let this opportunity pass. I’m going to be disciplined and focused.

Please God if you’re there, help me get through this training!

Brief Conversation With Dr. Wonderful

Dr. Wonderful called me this evening after work. I can tell that our relationship is shifting. The conversation was fine but I can feel myself withdrawing. I’m not bored exactly but I’m not getting the butterflies anymore either.

He told me how his weekend was and asked if I missed him. We didn’t see each other on Saturday the way we normally do so I told him I did miss him. Inside, however, I’m not so sure.

Is this the kind of relationship I want to waste my time on? We don’t really go out anymore and the sex is becoming redundant. He’s becoming my dildo and I’m becoming his booty call.

It’s the night before my time together with him and I’m not experiencing the usual excitement. I think it’s because my heart is understanding what this relationship is; a loveless hookup.

I deserve so much more. I deserve a man who will crawl through Heaven and Earth to fine me and be good to me.

I’m going to see Dr. Wonderful but I can see the writing on the wall; this relationship is coming to a standstill.

It’s just as well. I really feel like I’m getting closer to finding true love. It’s my heart’s desire and I don’t feel desperate. I feel peaceful and calm.

We’ll see…

Getting My Sexy Back with Raspberry Ketones

My mental illness has required that I take medication every day to help me sleep and not hallucinate. Unfortunately they have side effects. One of the side effects is weight gain. Since starting the medication I gained an ungodly 20 frickin’ pounds. I tried to put on one of my favorite pair of size 3 pants and it did not even clear my thighs. Oh hell.

Several months into taking these drugs my appetite has tapered off and went back to normal. The weight started sliding off. However, I try on my pants again and I’m still having a hard time pulling them up. Since I don’t own a scale these pants is the test to how much weight I’m losing. If I can’t fit them I’m still fat. Fuck reality, I just want to be a size 3 again.

A little over a month ago I kept seeing these drop down ads about Raspberry Ketones and how they help you lose weight without having to change your lifestyle. I’m the most skeptical person when it comes to these things because I don’t believe in a free lunch. However, Dr. Oz, who I love and trust, was promoting these “wonder pills” on his show and I took notice.

After a few weeks I finally broke down and ordered a bottle of Raspberry Ketones Max. The claim was to lose five pounds in a month. My bottle came in and I immediately started following the directions.

Since I already take medicine twice daily it was easy for me to keep track of this. I simply would take two Raspberry Ketones Max with my morning meds. It’s now a month later and I can pull my size 3 pants all the way up. This was all accomplished with no dieting and only a little exercise. I still can’t button my pants but I’m on my way.

Thank you Raspberry Ketones Max for giving me back my sexy!!

If you’re interested here’s the link. http://mhlnk.com/D699E1C3. Make sure you get the Raspberry Ketones Max. I haven’t tried any of the other brands.

Dr. Soulmate Turned Bestfriend Brightens My Day

It’s Friday morning and I still have not heard from Dr. Wonderful. I’m not sure if he’s busy or just growing distant from me. I sent him a text a few days ago and haven’t heard a response. Is this the beginning of the end?

Around 10 am I receive a text from Dr. Soul mate turned Best friend or Dr. BFF. It was the sweetest text. It said, “The Best Lines ever said by a man…”

When I was born, A Woman was there to hold me… My Mother.

As I grew up as a child, a woman was there to care and play with me… My Sister.

I went to school; A Woman was there to help me learn… My Teacher.

I became depressed when I lost. A woman was there to offer a shoulder… My Girlfriend.

I needed compatibility, company and love, a woman was there for me… My Wife.

I became tough; a Woman was there to melt me… My Daughter.

When I will die, A Woman will be there to absorb me in… Motherland.

If you are a man value every woman… and if you are a woman, feel proud to be on.

Happy Women’s day

I’m not sure who wrote this but the words are so beautiful and touching. I feel honored that Dr. BFF shared this with me. It really brightened my day.

Previously in one of our texts Dr. BFF mentioned a friend of his who is also a lover. She is from South America. I can imagine she must be very beautiful. I asked if he was in love with her. He replied, “I’m not in love. She’s a friend with benefits and does not believe in love. It’s complicated.” I said, “I’m sorry she doesn’t believe in love but to each his own.”

Later I asked if he believed in love. He said he believes the word is misunderstood and always leads to trouble.

Maybe this belief system is why it didn’t work out between the two of us. When we first met we had great conversations through email and text. I was starting to fall for him. He’s charming with dry humor and smart as hell. Of course along the way my damn psychosis took over, landing me in the hospital and pretty much scared him away. I’m sure our last date with me vomiting all over the place didn’t help either.

I told him that I believe love is a state of being. I started feeling this love when I started hearing and seeing things. I felt as if I was one with the Universe and the Universe is Love. Or you can say God is love.

It wasn’t long after I sent this text that Dr. Wonderful called me. When I saw his name come across my phone I was so happy. I answered bashfully, wondering what he was going to say. Up until now we spoke on the phone every day and after our last conversation things changed.

Dr. Wonderful sounded just as grieved as I was. He was nervous that I was upset with him. I told him I could never be upset with him. I asked if he was coming by tomorrow; we usually spend Saturdays together. He said he had a lot going on and wouldn’t be able to make it.

My heart skipped a beat. “Is he slowly letting me go by brushing me off?” When we said good night I was more confused than before he called me.

I immediately sent him a text stating, “It was nice hearing your voice. I really missed you.” He replied, “I’ve just been so busy. I know you understand.” I answered, “I understand. Okay. Enjoy your weekend.” By this time my heart was starting to feel pain at his apparent emotional disconnect. After a few minutes he sent a text saying, “U too I am gonna miss u tomorrow.” My heart lifted. “Me too. U have my heart.” He replied, “I will take care of it the best I can.” Now I’m starting to realize he’s just as nervous as I am. I wanted to lighten things up for him. “I know u will darling. Don’t worry. I understand how things r and I’ll be fine. ” He says, “Now I feel better.”

Maybe I’m complicating things by falling in love with him. Maybe he’s feeling stronger feelings than he thought he would feel. All I know is he’s the love of my life and was honest by letting me know up front what he could give. Somehow I’m going to find a way to put the brakes on my feelings.

All is not lost. I started my day with Dr. BFF and it seems as if I’m ending my day with kind words from him as well.

He texted me that all sounds good about my thoughts on love. I asked him if he thinks I’m not grounded. He told me I’m fine just the way I am. What sweet words to say. I think he’s fine just the way he is too.

I feel really blessed to have the wonderful people in my life the Universe has sent me. I hope I’m giving to them as much as they are giving to me. They are really special.

A Grateful Heart

As you can tell from my previous two posts I’m not in the best of moods. I’m not in a bad mood but I’m not overjoyed with happiness either. Partially because I’m feeling insecure because I haven’t heard from Dr. Wonderful in a couple of days.

I’m going to make a point to shift my thinking and concentrate on everything I’m grateful for. I’m going to start with my supportive friends. I really do have great friends. They check on me to make sure I’m not having panic attacks or any other mental/emotional breakdown. I’m grateful for my job opportunity with Friendly Skies Airline, I’m grateful for the food in my refrigerator and last but not least I’m grateful for the fact that I’m sleeping peacefully knowing that tomorrow is already taken care of.

I hope you’ll join me in raising your vibration by thinking of everything you’re grateful for; even if your life is not going quite how you want it to right now.

I’m moving forward and pressing on. LB

Subconscious Musings

Yesterday I was watching a PBS Showing with Dr. Wayne Dyer about wishes being granted based on his new book “Wishes Fulfilled.” Basically, he explained that whatever you put out into the universe through your subconscious mind is being pulled to you. So if you are constantly feeling that you are sick you are actually pulling more sickness to you. If you are feeling healthy, happy and whole you are pulling more of these experiences to you thus creating a cycle of happiness and wholeness.

This teaching is in alignment with The Law of Attraction.

Why is this important to me? I’ve been on the job hunt for months and haven’t been having great luck. My big break came recently with Friendly Skies Airlines but it’s still not enough to cover my bills so I’m still feeling desperate.

Am I attracting desperate situations to myself? Can I assume that everyone who is going through a rough time is experiencing results of a negative mindset? Or is there a patience factor? I am feeling desperation when it comes to getting my bills paid however, I still feel as if I’m moving forward and things are falling into place. For example I’m in school working on my MBA, I’m receiving unexpected help from my ex-husband and I should be receiving a refund check that will help me get through the next couple of weeks.

Even though I’m still trying to figure out how The Laws of the Universe are impacting my present situation I feel hopeful that I’m on the road to seeing great outcomes. I’m learning patience and I’m moving forward. What more does the Universe want from me? :/

Second Thoughts

If love’s not supposed to hurt why am I in pain? Two days ago Dr. Wonderful and I had a heart to heart over the phone. I let him know the real state of my financial affairs and that I desperately needed a job. Here I am a college educated woman and I’m considering being a phone sex operator. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against phone sex operators; live and let live. However, this profession is not my dream. Even if it was my shyness would keep me from excelling at it.

Dr. Wonderful and I met when he was interviewing me for a manager position at his company. He knows I’m on the job market. Even though I don’t complain about my situation I’m hoping that through his connections he can help get me into something.

I’m starting to feel like he wants the benefits of having a girlfriend on the side without the responsibility.

My job with Friendly Skies Airline is contingent upon me graduating from the three week training course that starts March 25th. After that I will be put on reserve which means I am only guaranteed 75 hours a month. This could last up to two years. I explained this to Dr. Wonderful.

What attracted Dr. Wonderful to me were his good lucks, his drive and his genuine kindness. What he says attracted me to him is my drive and the fact that we can actually have an educated conversation with each other. If he thinks so highly of me why won’t he hire me? I’m aware that I asked for more money than he wanted to pay but it seems to me that we can negotiate something even on a part time basis.

I haven’t heard from Dr. Wonderful since our last conversation. He told me he would talk to some of his friends. Did that conversation scare him away? More importantly, am I still interested in being what seems to be his “booty call?”

I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do. I’m still in love with Dr. Wonderful but I’m starting to think I gave away too much of myself. I’m going to sleep. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have clarity.